Starting a conversation can become a very complex task. Sometimes, after the greeting, our minds go blank and we don’t know how to continue. So it is important that you know how to make people like you more.
Either because you are shy or because you feel a little insecurity around who you are talking to; projecting a good image is part of our ability to communicate.
If your goal is to make a good impression, and to be remembered as someone charismatic, here are 4 strategies to improve your charisma.
1. Don’t Make You Pose Look Stiff.
Yes, since childhood our parents taught us to be upright. To have excellent posture and shake hands firmly.
It is very good to demonstrate security through these non-verbal gestures. However, exaggerating can look like you give yourself more important than the person you just met. So you might not be liked from the first moment.
Regardless of your position, your social position, and even if you are closing a major business; it is important to demonstrate a little humility.
This is the example given by Former President Clinton when he was receiving Nelson Mandela. (First 20 seconds of the video)
What we have here are two important people, who put aside their political status to make themselves seen as ordinary people.
So the next time you meet someone, relax, step forward, lean your head towards him/her a little, smile, and show that you are the one who is honored.
We all like to know how people like us more. If you show that you are really happy to meet another person, the other person will respond reciprocally. This will relax your nerves and you will be yourself.
2. Have respectful physical contact.
To know how to make people like you more, you must understand that physical contact can be very important. A subtle contact can influence our behavior, increase the level of sympathy and make us look more friendly and cordial to the other person.
Do it with respect of course. Touch the person lightly on the upper arm or shoulder. Make it look casual and not intimidating.
Review the video of the Clinton again, and ratify how these two presidents shake hands and how Clinton adds his left hand to the squeeze. This combined with his posture and gestures makes his greeting more genuine and sincere.
Something similar could happen with you, try this. The next time you are walking behind a person you know, tap him lightly on the shoulder as you go towards him, I guarantee that he and you will have a much more sincere greeting.
Physical contact breaks down natural barriers and decreases the actual perceived distance between you and the other person; a key component in the art of knowing how people like you.
3. Practice The “Jiu-Jitsu”.
When you meet a person, you chat for a few minutes and when you say goodbye you think: “I just had a very good conversation, he or she is great.” Then if you think about it more, you realize that you didn’t really know anything about the other person.
The individuals we perceive to be the friendliest are commonly masters of social Jiu-Jutsu – the ancient art of getting you to talk about yourself without you even realizing it.
JJS experts use their interest, courtesy, and spontaneity to throw a touch of grace towards you. It is for this reason that you like them.
To become a JJS expert, you just have to ask the right questions, be open and willing to describe and introspect. Ask how, why, or who.
As soon as you know more about that person, ask how he did it; Or why did he do it? What did you like? What did he learn?
Asking the right questions implicitly shows that you respect the other person’s opinion, and of course him.
4. Accept That The Other Person Is Better In Some Ways.
Admit it, someone is better than you in some way. Let them demonstrate these qualities and you will discover how people like them more.
Many people when they meet for the first time, unintentionally, compare themselves to each other by way of competition. Simply trying to show himself as the best.
Avoid this type of attitude, if it is the case, show yourself as the one who does not want to win this rivalry. Just be complementary, move around and admit that you are not perfect.
Acknowledging your weaknesses does not mean that you bring out all those things that you are not proud of. For example, if a person tells you that they have just bought the house of their dreams, which you have also tried to acquire, but you have been able to obtain the required financing from us; acknowledge the achievement.
You can admit that you feel a little jealous, but that you are impressed by this great achievement and at once ask how it was achieved. It is useful information and just by asking, you will seem more charismatic.
Don’t be shy about showing a bit of vulnerability. Many people may be momentarily impressed by something that is artificial, but they really appreciate the sincerity. Be yourself, people like the real “me”.
This all sounds easy, right? But it is not if you are shy. The standard attitude and the usual speech: “Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you and see you later” does not take you beyond being seen as a person with good manners.
But if you want to create an excellent impression and be remembered as someone charismatic.